After 25 years of marriage, one would supposedly think that whatever impediment you and your partner would encounter, you would work through it and stay together. Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger have split following what seems to have been the discovery that Arnold fostered a love child with a household employee that he had kept as a secret for the past ten years! This situation brings about the interesting question of whether or not one is ever really locked in a relationship.
The Queen Bey herself once said, “Sometimes in relationships, people get real, real comfortable, and they forget, that they can be replaced in a minute”. Although I do not believe in jumping from one relationship to the next, Ms Knowles is 100% about the existing reality that some people often forget that relationships can come to a sad yet liberating end. The problem is that often, once someone has been in a relationship for a long duration of time, the entire environment conditions one to feel “trapped” and “locked in”. Everything becomes familiar and all that doesn’t feel right begins to become acceptable. Things that one would’ve never stomached are somehow downed like bad medicine hoping it’ll make you better but it ends up making you terribly sick. As a result people will tolerate, cope and deal with shit they clearly wouldn’t have dealt with normally, but they keep holding on because of various factors, which range from material benefits, to children and even the length of a relationship can cause many to deal, deal, deal!
I once read a quote regarding relationships that said, “Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and hold on to the one reason why it will.” Now often this is the reason behind holding on and it all comes back to one solid fact: LOVE. We are fooled to believe that love would never let go, love should hold on, even when it hurts you because it’s not about you. I agree 100% relationships are not a self-interested; often you have to leave yourself at the door and create a new you that than can cater for two. But if the relationship no longer benefits the well-being of the self, one may have to chuck deuces and two-step to the door.
Chris Crocker once said in one of his many outrageous videos “When a relationship starts to repeat itself, and it feels like a bad movie you’ve watched 40 times, back to back. You need to take the remote and hit the eject button. Because you are driving yourself crazy!” Staying in a relationship that constantly leaves you frustrated has nothing to do with love, if anything it’s a reflection of how little you value yourself. All the reasons we give to why we cannot end or terminate relationships are all cop-out reasons because we’re afraid to be on our own again. We are afraid to create happiness by ourselves, made for ourselves and only ourselves. Beyonce (God I love this girl) said it best, “Me, Myself & I, it’s all I got in the end” and a life trapped in misery is a warped definition of love, love should never hurt. I’m not saying that once two people have called it quits that the love will ever stop, if it was a true relationship based on genuine love chances are the love will remain, and it’s alright to accept that sad fact that you love someone you cannot be with. But it’s more important to know when a relationship is no longer for you. And that’s when you terminate it, and hey, who knows what fate has in store, maybe after a few ticks of time, people will grow find inner-peace, achieve maturity and reunite again. But you have to leave to find out. You’re never trapped in a relationship, you’re never locked in. Often you’re just afraid. And if it’s a toss between not having someone in your life anymore and the choice of doing what’s best for you, choose you first.